Precious One So Small And Sweet

"Precious One So Small And Sweet"

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Today I can't help but miss my sweet little brother Rig. As I was thinking about how I might breast feed this sweet little boy that will be joining our family, I couldn't help but think back to when I was pumping for 2. I was pumping for my sweet Ember and my adopted little brother Rig. It was an awful experience for me NOT being able to breastfeed Ember, but then that sadness quickly turned to love and acceptance because I knew that by pumping, I was able to not only give my daughter my milk (sure it wasn't breastfeeding at it's finest, but it was still MY MILK), but I was also able to help give Rig some as well in hopes that it would help him. (I am not saying that formula isn't good but in his situation, I have to wonder if my milk was a better option then formula. He had many complications and trials in his small lifetime and I guess I am just hoping if there was ever ONE thing that I could have done to help him, I HOPE that my milk was that help.) 

I have high hopes for this sweet little guy and breastfeeding. I was worried there for a bit wondering what I would do if he also is going to struggle as Ember did, but then my thoughts came back to Rig. My fear has turned into love and acceptance that IF he cannot latch on and we have tried everything, I will continue to give him my milk by pumping for as long as I can, because if there is ever ONE thing I can do for him that will be helpful in his growth and nutrition...I HOPE it will be my breast milk....even if it's pumped.

As for my dear sweet Big Rig.....I miss you dearly. Please continue to watch over our family. I can see it now...you running around having a great time. You were so perfect and deserve to be without pain. You deserve to be able to run and play.....but just know that we love and miss you so very much....FLY HIGH SWEET BOY!