March Blog Challenge Day 15-Wierd Quirk Of Mine

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Day 15- Weird Quirk Of Mine

Weird twerk of mine....TWERK?!?!? Joking! I don't twerk...quirk....I have those.. yes I was thinking about it....and obviously I don't just have one. I have a few...I know I more than I can think of right now too...lol

*I get dressed behind doors...even when I am at home...with my husband...I get dressed behind doors. Closet doors, bathroom doors, bedroom doors...etc...

*When driving, I have to have the stereo volume on an odd number

*I drive like inches away from the steering wheel...I KNOW IT'S BAD! But I like to be able to see EVERYTHING! Haha.

*My eyebrows cannot be out of place...JASON loves to mess with me on this. He will purposely rub my eyebrows in the opposite direction...YUK!

*When I am angry....I clean, ( now that I am thinking about it....I am a naturally happy person...SO THAT'S WHY IT'S MESSY MORE OFTEN THAN CLEAN  HAHAH!)

So yeah...here are some of my weird quirks...I am sure I have plenty more, but can't think of any off the top of my head....SO...AS ALWAYS! I LOVE YOU ALL! Until tomorrow! :D

March Blog Challenge Day 14- Something That Makes Me Feel Better, Always

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Day 14- Something That Makes Me Feel Better, Always...

So this may sound totally weird...because I know that for my sister it's chocolate....BUT for me it's exercise. I NEED EXERCISE to feel myself. If I am ever having a rough day or am just super grumpy...don't send me to my room (although I would probably love a nap haha), just send me to the gym for about an hour and a half and I will be ready to go again! I know it may sound weird, but seriously working out not only makes me feel better emotionally but physically as well.... obviously....and what better way to get into great shape than the gym right? (now...if only I would actually GO and workout like I am suppose to be doing haha)

Well...short and sweet! I LOVE YOU MY SWEET READERS! Stay tuned for Day 15!!!!!

March Blog Challege Day 13- Something I Struggle With...

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Day 13- Something I struggle with...

Okay, so I am sure everyone has seen this picture....I am not fat...I realize that, however I do know that I am not toned. I have the extra fat around my butt, thighs, (I mean seriously...it's dimpled...that's when you KNOW you are not in a good state...haha) and now even my arms (my face always seemed fat to me....so we won't even go there). This is something I struggle with. I struggle with my body. I am sure there are plenty of girls out there who are in my same boat. When I was about 12-13 right before lunch as I was standing in the lunch line, I would put my hands around my waist to "measure" how skinny I was....(yes I know...dumb). This would determine how much food I was allowed to eat...13 years old and doing this crap!?!? ALREADY? Yeah I know.....super sad. When I went to New York, (Not many know this) I started gaining weight like CRAZY....when I came back home I was 155lbs. I wasn't happy with my body...I used the throw up method while in New York...I used weight loss pills, I tried not eating...ANYTHING that I could think of. I came home started working out, and got back down to about 135lbs. I got married to Jason (I don't think the poor guy knew how bad it was), and continued to workout (twice a day most days, burning about 1100 calories) and got down to 116lbs...SUPER SUPER SKINNY! Everyone said I was TOO skinny. I could see that I guess.......but I will admit that was the BEST I had ever felt! Knowing that I had close to NO fat on me....was a good feeling...

Now....everyone at some point has to wonder...where do these feeling come from? Well I can tell you....when a family member says, "Oooh Ashley, you are getting a  little bigger" (as they hit/squeeze your butt or thighs)....when you date STUPID boys who say things like, "She isn't physically satisfying enough" (YEAH I felt like CRAP....I think it was because I didn't kiss him for 3 months during our dating period...HE WAS MY FIRST REAL KISS!...Yeah...I will go with that to make me feel better...I WAS NOT A NAUGHTY girl...I wasn't easy to get...too bad he didn't like that lol....) UH EXCUSE ME? And then when another wants you to sit on his lap and you simply say, "I don't want to hurt you,"....thinking he will be sweet about it...NO he says, "Don't worry, YOU HAVE ENOUGH CUSHION..." Uh....not what I was hoping for!!!.....I got pillows thrown at me in high school (YES PILLOWS) and boys would call me "flat" (I was 12-13 years old!!! Of course I didn't have my full set of breasts yet!) ...Yeah...I sure know how to pick em....good thing I got smart...and FINALLY found a good one...except...I already felt destroyed...my poor poor husband. I get dressed in the closet...I don't think he has ever seen me full on naked in the light...EVER....yeah...little things from the past....have caused this so called "struggle"....I find myself still holding grudges against these people at times haha. I want to feel happy with my body, I truly do, but I have found that this is , and will always be MY struggle. I don't wish this on anyone....ever. I am currently working hard on this, and am hoping to be better....but now you know...my weakness...(well one of many hahaha)....my struggle....SOOOOO Now with that said...I regret eating some of that girl scout cookie shake....HAHA....however it was AMAZING! LOVE RUPES! YES I DO! Lol...

ALSO one more thing....I try my hardest to keep this struggle unknown from my own child for her own sake. I want her to know that she is beautiful inside and out....I think it's working thus far...lol...she always tells me she is beautiful....(She also tells me that I am beautiful...:) It makes my day!)...She deserves to think she is beautiful and deserves to feel good about herself everyday!

SO...GET YOUR RIGHT SIZE...YOUR SIZE...NOT SOMEONE ELSES!! ;)

ANYWAY....thanks for reading! Stay tuned for tomorrow!!!!! As always I LOVE YOU MY SWEET SWEET BLOG READERS! See ya tomorrow! :D

March Blog Challenge Day 12- Pet Peeves

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Day 12- Pet Peeves

Okay so like I had said earlier, I am a really easy going person (Most of the time). I don't have many pet peeves, but I DO HAVE SOME! :) Are you ready....and please no one be offended...if you do any of these, you are not a bad person at all....they are just some annoyances of mine haha.

* I hate when the laundry gets done without my knowledge....AND GETS LEFT IN THE WASHER! They end up stinking. I hate hate hate it...whats worse is when they take the stinky laundry out of the washer and try to DRY it! YUK! I then have to rewash it all and that's just plain annoying. 

* I hate when the laundry isn't done the right way! I mean I put certain things in there....there is a right way to do it!

* I hate when I clean something off and expect it to stay clean and people start stacking their crap on it....AND THEN I can't find places for their stuff so it piles up! People who come to my house know what I mean...it's all in a corner!

*I hate cigarette smoke....I don't hate the people that smoke...I hate smoke! It smells horrible! This would be my BIGGEST pet peeve. I can't stand it....It makes me angry at times when it's REALLY strong. Like I said though, I don't hate the people who smoke. I have family and friends that smoke. It's a sad habit, I will be blunt about that, and I hope that one day they will stop for their own health, but I love each of them. YOU HEAR ME?!? I LOVE YOU ALL! I would like you to be around for a long time...so you may think about stopping.... ;) I don't know how hard it is to quit since I have never got into the habit...but yeah....just think about it. :) 

Well, I think that sums it up. I LOVE YOU ALL my sweet blog readers! Stay tuned for tomorrow!

March Blog Challenge Day 11- Where I want to be in 10 years

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Day 11- Where I want to be in 10 years!

Well this one is hard because honestly I feel pretty content, I mean sure I want some more things out of life, who doesn't? But honestly I love my life right now! haha. I will give you a few wishes I have and what I think would be lovely to have haha.

* I would like to build a home. In other words...I want to move...I want to build and use my love for creativity! I want to be able to make my house OURS and make it how I want it (of course with the say of my husband...he deserve a say in how I do it right?) :P

* I would like another child....I am hoping that will happen sooner than later, but yes....I want another baby....I love my sweet Ember...but it's time. Lol.

* I want a bigger vehicle...my little Toyota Corolla just isn't doing it for me anymore....sure there are only 3 of us...but it's STILL WAY TOO SMALL! I am thinking a Honda Pilot....

* I would like to be skinny again....Well not skinny fat...I want to be TONED! of course I SHOULD be able to do that...now if only I could be motivated! Haha.

Well....there are a few things that I would like within the next 10 years...haha HAPPY BLOGGING! I LOVE YOU ALL! Stay tuned for tomorrow!...It's PET PEEVES! HAHAH I have a few...but really I am an easy going person...still wouldn't you like to know? HAHA

March Blog Challenge Day 10- Favorite Childhood Book

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Day 10- Favorite Childhood Book

Okay, So I am sure this one had to be hard for Shantel seeing as she is the book border....me? NAH! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE TO READ, I mean one summer I seriously read 17-18 books....no they weren't small books...they were pretty good sized. Lol. Hmmmm my favorite would have to be ANY of the Anita Stansfield books. They are like Jack Weyland (ANOTHER GREAT WRITER). Romance novels....NO THEY AREN'T NASTY! Get your mind out of the gutter. They are Lds Romance Novels. I love them! I had a whole collection of them.....hmmmm...wonder where they went? ?:/ Anyway....GOOD READS! LOVE THEM! 

Well I am off to bed...(Just got back from the gym), but as always I LOVE YOU MY SWEET BLOG READERS! Can't wait to read yours....although you probably already beat me in writing yours haha!

March Blog Challenge Day 9- 20 Things About Me

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Day 9- 20 Things About Me

Okay so I realize this was for yesterday and that I am a bit behind but I had a fabulous dinner that I got to attend (Birthday dinner with in-laws! THANK YOU BTW! It was delicious!). I didn't get home until later at night...so here it is. (AND ps....this is hard for me...I don't know why, but it just it. AAAANNNDD I am sure you already know a lot of these!)

1. I was adopted....yes. I went into foster care when I was five and was adopted at the age of seven...yes I remember a lot from before...(They always ask if I do.) Haha. 

2. I skipped 7th and 8th grade...yes I went from 6th straight into crazy high school. Was it scary? YES! AND BOY TO I HAVE STORIES! Can you imagine...a flat chested little girl going to high school....I got freaking pillows thrown at me and made fun of....if the people who did that ever read this blog....I STILL AM HOLDING A GRUDGE! It has messed me up more than you know.....sad...yes I know I am pathetic...but it has.

3. I nannied in New York (East Hampton) I LOVED IT! I wish I could go there again! I got to go to St Martins and many other amazing places! THANK YOU MY DEAR SWEET NANNY FAMILIES! ALL OF YOU! I have loved every single one of you! MISS YOU ALL! MWWAH!

4. I HATE SEAFOOD! Yes....I HATE HATE HATE IT! NEVER ASK ME TO EAT IT! I WILL BEAT YOU! Jason and his dad always tease me about it....it's disgusting though! YUCKY YUCKY!

5. I LOVE VOLLEYBALL...AND SOFTBALL....but mostly volleyball. I could play volleyball all day! Even if it means spraining my foot super bad! HAHA (Thanks church ladies! IT WAS A BLAST!

6. I have 3 piercings...yes I am a bit of rebel. I have my ear lobes and my cartilage pierced and secretly have always wanted my tragus pierced  but will obviously probably never do it. lol

7. I have so many siblings I can't even remember their birthdays...I quit after Hollie....sooo I tend to forget the rest. Sorry (Dennis, David, Brodee, Keygan, and Sammy!)

8. I lost a brother last year. Big Rig. He was a super cute little thing. We miss him lots!

9. I LOVE CAMPING!

10. I love any outdoor things really....OOOOH...I LOVE WATER SKIING! I love water. I wish I lived in Hawaii....seriously.

11. When I was a nanny, I use to swim at almost midnight every night with the other nannies and friends...well a little later after I got back home my nanny family posts pictures a great white had washed up on shore....uh....YEAH FREAKY!

12. I had my hair long once upon a time..seriously down to my butt....I chopped it and have only gone shorter (I am now just barely trying to grow it out a little...only for Jason though....seriously)

13. I am an online shopper....its bad actually. I might be an addict... D:

14. I almost never buy anything full price. This is why I am an online shopper. I see something I want...I will search for it online just to get the lowest price! BARGAINS BABY! 

15. I LOVE Deseret Industries....Jason and I go at least once maybe twice together....I go plenty in between! 

16. I LOVE CRAFTS! I could spend all day doing a craft....

17. I have friends.....Haha jk..I'm sure you all knew that....however....I HAVE A BEST FRIEND (Other than Jason...), her name is Dashia King....Yes.....you probably already knew that too...haha

18. I hate water....yeah....I know...THAT'S SO BAD! But seriously....ask me...I can only get it about 2-3 cups of just straight water on a good day....the rest is flavored water and juices.... D: I'M SOOOO BAD! :( Don't judge me.

19. I GAG at everything...ask Jason. I can smell our dog Denim from a mile away and tell Jason how bad he stinks and then start gagging....yeah..It's bad.

20. I AM AWESOME!.....Haha jk....I LOVE GARAGE AND YARD SALES! If I could I would live in Arizona (Mesa) just to go to yard sales....THEY ARE DA BOMB! And I find some pretty awesome stuff! 

WELL THANKS FOR READING! As always I LOVE YOU! Stay tuned again for today's blog......since this was yesterdays....or at least supposed to be! hahah.

March Blog Challenge Day 8- Proudest Moment

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Day 8- Proudest Moment

 

I have so many proud moments I can't pick just one being the PROUDEST moment, but I can share a proud moment. I think I will pick giving birth to my baby (not so baby anymore) girl Ember Brinlee Marlow. Yes. I remember during delivery after pushing for 10 seconds laughing and telling Jason I love him (the nurse laughed and said, "Oh to be young and in love."). 12 1/2 pushes and she was OUT! AMAZING! I didn't want to look like a baby and start crying, but it was definitely hard not to when I saw Jason bathing her. I loved watching that special moment, and right there...I was so proud to say that I married the perfect guy for me, and had just delivered a healthy little girl.....I was on the right track and was ready to begin a new chapter. (Even if it meant colicky being it in....YIKES!) I was a happy wife and mother at that time (still am of course lol). AND VERY PROUD! 

Thanks for reading my blog sweet readers! Until tomorrow! And as always...I LOVE YOU ALL!

March Blog Challenge Day 7- First Celebrity Crush

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Day 7- First Celebrity Crush

Okay so this may sound weird, but I seriously did not have one. I wasn't one of those girls. I was the type of girl that wanted to play football, softball, v-ball, and all the sporty things you can do as a kid. Who has time for crushes when you are too busy being awesome? Haha. jk. But for real, I didn't have one. I DID however have a voice crush....is that even a thing? I had a couple...haha you can't blame me though....SERIOUSLY I love a guy with an amazing voice...

So my first one 

yes....Josh Groban. THIS GUY CAN SING! I remember as a kid when we could do song requests (I mean we still can...I just don't) on the radio...I would almost always want to hear To Where You Are...or You Raise Me Up....yup...definitely an amazing voice!

Second....get ready...HIS IS AMAZING...

JOSH TURNER! Okay really, his song, "Would You Go With Me"...? YEAH I LISTENED TO IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN! AMAZING....I don't know if its because of his super low voice or what but oooooooh SOOOOO AMAZING. HAHAHA

Well there are my first "voice" crushes. Lol. Jet over to http://meandyouplusru.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-7-first-celebrity-crush.html and read hers! HAHAHA! They are pretty good....(she still secretly has a crush on the second one ;) ) Just ask her! AHAHAH! 

AS ALWAYS Thanks for reading. Stay tuned for tomorrow aaaand...I LOVE YOU!

Thank You Scott For Making My Day!

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So today I went to the Doctors to get on some medication for my crazy off thyroid. I just have to thank my friend for helping me out with those labs. It has seriously helped me soooo much! (SO THANK YOU!) I took them to Leavitt's Women Healthcare and they were SOOOO good to me! (Like always) She (the PA) was pretty upset that the doctor I went to first didn't check my thyroid. She was so surprised by the results that she actually called the lab here in Blackfoot to make sure they were right.... She came into the room and started to talk to me about EVERYTHING. She explained it all so so well. I broke down a few times lol, but they were there to give me tissues. I know...I'm lame. So she felt my thyroid. I have a huge goiter! How I didn't catch it myself is beyond me. I didn't even know what I should have been looking for I guess. Ha ha. They put me on a high dose of thyroid medication and told me everything I needed to know (As far as if it didn't go away, I would be sent to a ENT (Ear/Neck/Throat Doctor who specializes in that kind of stuff). I AM PRAYING it doesn't come to that. She also told me she is almost sure it isn't cancerous. (SCARY to think that it could be EVER...but I will agree with her and hope for the best. I am sure I am fine. :) ) We are all just hoping it will go down to normal size. So here's my OOO-RA to the waiting game (The wait to have it get normal before we move on to other things for getting me on track. :) ). I am super excited about feeling better and less tired. SUPER EXCITED!

So you are probably wondering about my post title. (If you can even see it) haha. Well today I was in Walmart going to get my prescription and I see Scott Robinson. He says, "Hi", and we talked for a brief moment and then I had to go up and talk to the lady about getting my stuff. After I was done and about to leave, Scott comes up to me and hugs me and says, "I just have to tell you how beautiful you are to me..." Yeah...if he ever reads this...I literally bawled when I got into the car. As I stated earlier in one of my posts, I just am not happy about how I look, I want to look and feel better (In my eyes). Of course we are our worst judges. HAHA.... ANYWAY, I want to give a special heart felt thanks to him. He is a special person that I am so grateful to have as a friend. If you ever need a pick-me-up, Scott is the person to find! The perfect example of a Christ-Like soul. I am so extremely blessed to have people like him in my life. Thanks Scott, you made my day! 

AAAND as always...thank you readers! You are all my inspiration! Thank you! Love you all!

March Blog Challenge Day 6- 10 Favorite Foods

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Day 6- 10 Favorite Foods

Okay so if you jet over to my sister's favorite food list, (http://meandyouplusru.blogspot.com/2014/03/day-6-10-favorite-foods.html?spref=fb) you will see how alike we are....NOT. HAHA Jk...I will say this....I was not a picky eater when I was younger...in fact before I was adopted...I was a crazy food hoarding type of kid...yeah my mom would find things in the weirdest places. I can't say I am the same way at all. In fact, just ask Jason...he will tell you how I gag at EVERYTHING. I am horrible now; I won't even "try" foods very often. Lol...I blame it all on pregnancy (Jason claims I have always had a bad gag reflex.) OKAY here we go:

1. I would have to say Olive Garden Salad.....okay and their Alfredo (I don't think I have really tried anything else but that...maybe a few other things). They seriously have the best salad EVER. When I tell Jason I want to go out to Olive Garden....it's usually for the salad. The Alfredo was just for take home so I could eat it the next day! :P  Who's with me?!?!? I mean seriously it's like heavenly salad....I bet there are heaven sent angels in that kitchen just for that deliciousness of a salad. Haha. 

2. KitKats....that's right. Ask Dashia, she will tell you...her and Zane ALWAYS bought me a package of KitKats when I came over....it was gone in no time at all (in fact one time I ate ALL of them and Dashia had asked for one...yeah I was embarrassed I didn't save her any! OOPS!) KitKats....Heavenly Chocolately Crunch in a bag! MMMMM YUMMY! DASHIA when you come this weekend....please bring me some! ;) Actually if anyone is feeling so generous.....I would be so grateful to you for bringing me a KitKat....THANK YOU! Lol

3. Chips and Salsa....better yet El Vaquero chips and salsa AND beans. Or if my Mashia would be so kind as to read this and make me her homemade salsa...that will work too! SOOOO delicious! 

4. Costa Vida grilled chicken salad. (Wish Bajios was still here because their Bajio Ensalada was AMAZING, Costa Vida's will have to do...it's close)

Maybe I should mix number three and four and just say MEXICAN FOOD! I am telling you, I am soooooo grateful for mexican food. I wish I could just hug the people that make it soooooo well! I wish I could cook good Mexican food....seriously....anyone want to teach me?

5. My mother in law's bread....yes....it's amazing. I could eat the whole dang loaf in an hour or less. AMAZING (Mashia, I love yours too, but I grew up with it my whole life.... hers is new to me lol......besides I have one for you that I love!)....Maybe I shouldn't let my Mashia read this.... :O

6. My Mashia's Lasagna...yes she makes AMAZING Lasagna....oh and fajitas....oh and smoothies...(UNLESS they are flaxseed...dearest mother I love you but it felt like a loogie was working its way down my throat...no bueno)

7. Sautéed Mushrooms...Weird I know, but they are AMAZING and I don't think anyone can make them better than my Fashia. He would cook up some amazing Sautéed Mushrooms...I could eat the whole pan thank you! Too bad I had to share....haha. Fashia...if you read this...I please call me when you make more..I am only a few miles away and will come over....definitely....

8. Tomatoes...yes. I LOVE TOMATOES...I love them plain, I love them on a sandwich...I even love them being the ONLY thing on the sandwich...sorta...here's what you do. You take bread...you toast it. You put butter on it and then pepper. Then you put your tomatoes on them...and salt them...then...this is the easy part...YOU EAT IT and you LOVE IT...Every yummy juicy bite...OH YUMMY!

9. Sweet Potatoes. Yes...I LOVE THEM. Especially the way Jessie Hamilton makes them. I didn't know that they could get better but this last year around thanksgiving, I tried a little bite of Reese's to make sure they were too hot when I warmed them up...yeah HEAVEN IN YOUR MOUTH! They had apples, cinnamon, brown sugar, sweet potatoes of course....and who knows what other delicious ingredients?!? So thank you Jessie for yet ANOTHER great dish (Did I tell you she brought over some yummy food the other day? Yeah...Jason came home for lunch...it was GONE! Seriously...DELICIOUS! THANK YOU!)

10. Okay so I have a lot of favorite foods and so picking this last one is HARD....but I will go with my sister's pumpkin cookies...(hint hint Shantel....you are coming tomorrow...you should bring me some! Ha ha!) She makes some dang good ones! Of course she would though...she LOOOOVES cookies! lol. 

OH CRAP....I have to do one more! I LOOOOOVE Yolky Eggs and Toast...I have always loved them and probably ALWAYS will....and guess what? It has passed on down to Ember...SHE LOVES THEM TOO! Lol!

Okay so now that you all know my favorite foods, or at least 10 of my favorite foods, feel free to make a menu for the week just for me and bring me all my favorite foods! ;) Thanks for reading! UNTIL TOMORROW! Love you guys!

March Blog Challenge Day 5- 3 Personality Traits I'm Proud Of

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Day 5- 3 Personality Traits I'm Proud Of

This one is hard for me. Like many people, I am one who tries to do my best all of the time, but find myself not very accepting of compliments, and this post I feel that I would be complimenting myself....Lol. I will try my best though. :) (Jason is going to love this!...I shouldn't but I tend to always shoot down his compliments....so that fact that I am doing this will amaze him!) 

Hmmmm what personality traits do I love about myself.....gee I feel like this could take forever! It's like asking a cocky gym rat what he hates about his body! HAHA....Yeah I can see that now..."Hmmm what do I Love?....Wait what...WHAT DO I HATE?? I LOOOOOVE MY MUSCLES, HECK I LOVE MY BODY!" I was watching this guy who was wearing spandex pants to make his butt look like a girls butt because his girlfriend claimed it was hard going out in public and having guys stare. Well he did this and he got so many stares, and then when he popped his head out of the trunk guys were like, "DUDE I thought you were a girl!" He would sit their and make fun of them and say, "You want to scratch a piece off don't ya? Don't ya?" HAHA. ANYWAY BACK ON COURSE...

The first thing I would have to say that I like is that I am a Happy-Go-Lucky. I am generally a very outgoing happy and bubbly person. I would hope that my friends would agree. I don't see a point in being negative...in fact it's way more work to be that way! Haha Why would I want to be!?!? I love the reaction that people get when I am so bubbly to the point of crazy! Hahaha....it makes my day!

The second thing would be.....my creativity. I am pretty sure that there are other people who are much more creative but I LOVE being creative. I love making something old into something new. I love learning new things and making new things (i.e..crocheting, sewing..etc), basically I love creating new things because I love learning new things. I LOVE painting and distressing...I LOVE IT ALL! (shhhhh don't tell my husband I just said I love painting....We still need the walls painted fully hee hee).

AND FINALLY....the third thing....hmmmm.....wow this one is much harder....uh...okay so I hate this but I am sitting here asking my sister about my traits....and she says, "What did mom always say??? OH YEAH...you were a peacemaker." I sat there and laughed because my siblings would always call me the "Perfect Child!" I should have considered it a compliment but it made me crazy! It was like she would say, "Why can't you be a peacemaker like Ashley?" and they would respond, "WELL I CAN'T BE THE PERFECT CHILD LIKE ASHLEY!" .....yeah I would get angry about it because I wasn't perfect I just didn't make my goal to be trouble maker everyday...haha, OH WAIT...Shantel would call it strong-willed, not trouble maker. :P

OKAY well this has been a lot harder than I would have liked, but I am just going to say for the last one....I like that I am usually always willing to help people and do anything I can to make them happy....even if it means getting stressed out about it to the point of going crazy! Hahaha. Seriously though....ask Jason...he is always making fun of me for it. He obviously doesn't feel bad when I get super stressed out about things because he says, "YOU NEED TO SAY NO!" :P

Okay! Well I can't wait to read everyone else's posts for today! See you tomorrow! :D

Why does this happen? Isn't our role in life to bring them into this world? To help them learn and grow?

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      I debated hard on whether or not I should write this, so bear with me here. As most people know, I am generally a very bubbly outgoing (at least I try to be) person. Well, these last couple/few (Jason claims its been longer) months, I have found myself in a downward spiral. I wake up most days and before I even get out of bed I am tired. I find myself always wondering if I am being a good wife and mother. I sit there and cry about anything and EVERYTHING, and feel that I am not good enough for my family. I look in the mirror every day feeling extremely unhappy with how I look. I know, I know, "Ashley you look good,"...yeah most people say that to me when I say something like that. I am not trying to get attention though....I truly want to look and feel better about myself. I have gained 12.4 lbs in 2 months....and it keeps rising. I can't seem to find the energy to keep going some days....definitely just not my normal self. I know its about that time to have another child, but since I do not have the energy nor do I feel good about myself inside or out, I feel that maybe for the world's sake I shouldn't have anymore. LOL I want my children to feel like a million bucks. I want them to know that I love them by how I show them (i.e playing games with them, reading to them, having fun with them). These days I feel it takes my all to just get the house cleaned (ONE ROOM!). Of course I want another. Who wouldn't?  Ember is pretty much to that age where she is pretty dang content. She is a smart girl who is super independent. She is potty trained both day and night....so why not right? Well here it is....I can't have another...not yet. Unfortunately my body won't let me. It took us a while the first time and....well little does my family know, last year we were just letting it happen (of course I knew in the back of my head that it would take forever, so I wasn't worried about getting pregnant), but when you really do start charting and nothing happens for months and months...you start to really feel depressed, because your body is just not working how you want it to. As I sit here and cry about the situation at hand, I can't help but feel mad at people who have baby after baby with no problems and then complain about having them. I mean sure I know I complain about Ember when she is being a little turd, but in reality I LOVE having her. I love how smart she is, and I know that I am so blessed to even have her. I was lucky to get her. She took forever to get here! Sometimes I think about when I was delivering her and the doctor had said she tied two true knots in her cord....if she'd pulled any tighter, she wouldn't be here....I am so thankful for her. I may be feeling sorry for myself but sometimes us women who have a dang hard time getting pregnant wonder "WHY AM I HERE?" isn't the reason for being here on this earth to help bring Heavenly Father children into this world? To help them grow and learn...to give them bodies so they can return with him again? I HEAR ALL ABOUT IT IN CHURCH....I am sure people wonder why in the heck I don't have another already....I KNOW THEY DO...but little do they know....I AM TRYING....and this is where my true depression sets in. I never knew what depression really felt like until recently, when I found out that I have a thyroid problem. Yes, I finally got my blood work done and my thyroid is all outta whack. On a scale for TSH of 0.34-4.820....I am a 10.444...and for FreeT4 my normal range should be anywhere from 0.89-1.76....I am a 0.84....I have hypothyroidism. Its under active. This can affect just about everything! Lol. Explained why I am so tired all of the time, why I was all of sudden gaining more weight, why I am cold all of the time, why I am not getting pregnant, and why I am feeling depressed. I am not feeling myself at all! I told my mom this and my aunt (who also has hypothyroidism) and they laughed and said, "Are you sure its not HYPER-thyroidism?" meaning I should be more fat...haha. That made my day. My friend even said, " I would have never guessed my how skinny and bubbly you are." Yes well, I now have only one pair of pants that fit me. I hide myself behind clothing (THANK YOU COLD WEATHER, I get to wear big heavy clothing! Haha) As for the bubbly....I have to thank Heavenly Father for the extra bubbly I got blessed with haha...I am surprised I have any left!

      Well now I get to go in and get on synthetic hormones to balance me out. I get to go in every so often (more than I'd like) to get my blood tested to make sure they are giving me the right dosage. I am excited to get back on the right track but I won't be able to get pregnant for a while still...it will take quite a few months just to get the right dosage and then probably a few more to "try" and we all know the percentage/chances of getting pregnant are already pretty slim...yeah well they are super slim for me. I feel for people who cannot have children of their own at all. I sat and bawled at the thought that I was going to be one who struggled with getting my own. I finally had to have my Fashia give me a comfort blessing to calm me down as I was stressing about it constantly. SO with all of this out in the open...don't judge me. Haha. I am trying to be a better person altogether...inside and out. I have to trust in the Lord that everything will work itself out. I am sure I could tell you all the negatives I am feeling, but I am sure to get the idea. ;) ALSO while in the process of all this if there is anyone that would like to become my workout buddy (I am at anytime fitness) PLEASE TELL ME....I figure if I am not going to get pregnant anytime soon, I am going to get my body back for summer! ;) I promise I won't be bawling the whole time. :) 

      I hope this blog made sense, and I hope that this will help anyone else out there who might be feeling the same way....you aren't alone. :) Thanks guys! :D LOVE YOU ALL!

         

      

March Challenge Day 4- Guilty Pleasure

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Day-4 Guilty Pleasure

Alright so aside from eating KitKats whenever I can...my guilty pleasure would have to be naps. I am seriously one of those people who could wake up, do something for 2-3 hours, and go back to bed for a few hours...wake up and do the same thing...and then STILL be able to sleep ALL THROUGH the night. Ha ha. I love being able curl up with our heating blanket and sleep. Why can't my mom send me to my room to take naps now?!?! As bad as this sounds, I actually often times will turn on a show for Ember from netflix and tell her that "Mommy needs a quick nap". Obviously my naps don't last very long when I do this because the short shows end and it needs turned back on, BUT I do get a small one. :) So....my guilty pleasure...yeah....taking naps. HOWEVER there is scientific proof that women need more sleep than men...so sometimes I don't feel THAT bad. Hee hee.
So with that....stay tuned for tomorrow!....I need a nap.

March Blog Challenge!

I have a friend who also blogs...okay so a few friends that blog. One friend decided to come up with the great idea of a March Blog Challenge. She came up with different daily topics for us to blog about. I say it's a fantabulous idea! Thanks Abbey!

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1. Something to be thankful for

2. Explain the meaning/reason behind your blog title

3. If I won the lottery...

4. Guilty pleasure

5. 3 Personality traits I'm proud of

6. 10 favorite foods

7. First celebrity crush

8. Proudest Moment

9. 20 things about me

10. Favorite Childhood book

11. Where I want to be in 10 years

12. Pet Peeves

13. Something I struggle with

14. What makes me feel better, always

15. Weird quirk of mine

16. Timeline of day

17. Favorite place to visit-as a child and now

18. 3 books on your book shelf

19. Bucket List

20. I am looking forward to...

21. Find an old photo of yourself and tell the story about it.

22. Hobbies

23. Write a letter to yourself

24. If you were a super hero, what would your super power be.

25. Give a helpful tip

26. I miss...

27. Someone you would want to switch lives with for1 day and why

28. Nicknames

29. Something or someone that has had a big impact on you

30. How has life changed since 5 years ago

31. A song and photo to match your current mood

LET'S DO THIS! (I am a bit behind so I will back up a little hee hee!)

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Day 1- Something To Be Thankful For

Like many others, I HAVE much to be grateful! I first want to say that I am SOOOOOO grateful for my family. Not just Jason and Ember, but BOTH sides included. They have helped me to be a better person. Lately (I will probably elaborate on this later) I have not felt myself. I am sure many mothers can see what I mean. I have been overly exhausted, I can't seem to keep the house clean after cleaning, and I am stressing all of the time about whether or not I am raising Ember right and HOPING that she is turning out okay....really just stressing that I am being a good mom. (Because honestly I stress about the idea of having another...NO I AM NOT PREGNANT...(like I said I will elaborate on this whole story later.). These last couple of months have been pretty hard on me and I am sure that it's taking a toll on my family. I am so thankful for Jason. Seriously he works so hard to provide for us and I consider myself the luckiest girl alive to have him as my husband. He is so willing to help clean the house and take care of Ember when I am feeling all "depressed" about life. He does the laundry....wait what? YEAH he does the laundry! How many woman can say that? Sorry girls....I got the best....you missed out! ;) OH OH WAIT...and get this...HE FOLDS THE LAUNDRY...yup, and he claims "he loves it!" haha. So anyway I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR JASON. I also want to tell everyone how grateful I am for Dashia King....yeah I am sure that most of you who know me and follow my pinterest boards have seen the board created just for her....yeah well she is my best friend! I love creating new things with her (ie....painting chevron walls, doing vinyl, etc). In fact most of the time I LOVE waking up just to get on pinterest and see that she has sent me TONS of pins. I am super sad she moved, but am always excited when we get to meet up somewhere...(and by this I mean, I literally PLAN trips just to see her! Haha) SO TO DASHIA and FAMILY.....THANK YOU! And thank you Heavenly Father for bringing me them all to me! 

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Day 2-Explain the meaning/reason behind your blog title

So honestly, I am a pretty crazy kind of person and just decided for my AWESOME personality that "OH MY LOLLA PALOOZA" just fit haha. Seriously though, I am the kind of person that loves new ideas and I feel like this blog (at least I am hoping) will show you what I mean...once I really get it going. Haha. I LOVE being creative...just ask my best friend Dashia. She will tell you all about it. So I have no REAL reason for the name of this blog except CREATIVITY! ;)

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Day 3- If I won the lottery...

Ooooh this could be interesting. Haha. So if I won the lottery I would definitely pay off our debts first. I would then buy a new home, or at least build one...yeah definitely build one. lol That's where my creativity gets to come in! ;) If I had any left over.....I honestly think I would take a trip to Africa....or Australia...(Too bad I can't do the lotto because seriously....I think I could win! Ahahah just ask my mother in law how lucky I am ;)

WELL STAY TUNED FOR THE REST! ;)